You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Girls should come with a carfax report
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
