Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
