If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
