you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
