I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
