I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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