oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
