So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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