Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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