I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
