My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
