I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
