from now on my penis is your penis
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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