wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
