He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
