in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
