Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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