She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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