my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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