I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
