she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
