If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
