I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
