Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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