Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
