Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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