what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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