did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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