his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
