i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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