in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
