I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
