I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
