apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
