I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
