i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
