420 ftw
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
