I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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