i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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