I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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