Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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