Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
