I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
