I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
