Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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