Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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