Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
