if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I need moral support for this bender
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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