Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
