wrigley field is MILF paradise
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
