So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
