I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Less talking, more tequila
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
