You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
