how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize