I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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