You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize