Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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