So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
vagina is talking i cant
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
