so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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