I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
