So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
