That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
