were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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