pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
