You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize