If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
